What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
