honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize