Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize