tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
