you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
