Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
How external is "for external use only"?
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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