You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
