i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
