it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
