I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
