took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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