okay pat passed out under dana's car
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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