____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Randomize
