yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
