I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
What changed your mind?
Being sober
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
