i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
