is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
