So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
