I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
it's like iHOP with fire
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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