I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Randomize
