I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
