I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
