I got her a Nickelback box set.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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