I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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