Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
i came on her dog
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
