okay pat passed out under dana's car
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Randomize
