my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
