when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
