And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Randomize
