she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize
