I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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