Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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