just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
