Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
