you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
