I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
