u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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