Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Randomize
