I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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