Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Randomize
