Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Randomize
