Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Randomize
