So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
