No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
