i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
