i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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