I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
