Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Randomize
