I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
