oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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