I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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