btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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