Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
