She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
