Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I think I have vodka in my lungs
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
