I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
