Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
