my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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