Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
