I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
