Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize