The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Randomize
