Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
