Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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