I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
