So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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