Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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